An Eternity of Regret
by Dark Lord Ereshkigal
Summary: After his triumph over Bern, Roy decides to visit his mother Ninian's tomb secretly in an inner garden of Castle Pherae. But a mysterious figure is waiting for him who will reveal the secrets of his mother's family tree...and the true story of the Dark Druid who once attempted to terrorize all of Elibe. Post-FE6, contains many FE7 spoilers. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fire Emblem.


A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about not updating, my computer's hard drive crashed and I have midterms/essays to work on. In the meantime, though, here's a little one-shot for you! This is unrelated to "Fang Lives On!" by the way, just saying.

This story assumes that Ninian is Eliwood's wife and Roy's father.

SPOILERS: Do not read this unless you have beaten all the Kishuna chapters on Hector's mode and seen the cutscenes in A Glimpse in Time (it shows up right after the first time you see Kishuna)

An Eternity of Regret

A month had passed since Roy of Pherae had triumphed over King Zephiel of Bern and defeated the dragons that he had summoned to conquer the world. There was much work to be done in repairing the countries that had almost been torn apart by the war, but gradually they were beginning to rebuild themselves.

It had only been a few months during which Roy had set out on his quest, but when he finally came back to Pherae it appeared as though he had matured well beyond his years, and everyone could tell that he would be an excellent marquess once Lord Eliwood passed on.

"Father? Can I ask you something?" Roy asked Eliwood as he entered his father's throne room. He had just returned from a meeting with his friend Lilina; both he and she were overseeing the rebuilding of Lycia and of the surrounding areas.

"Yes, Roy? Is something troubling you?" Eliwood asked, concerned.

"Can…can I take some time to visit my mother's grave tonight?" Roy requested. "I…I know she died when I was young and that I barely remember her, but…"

Eliwood raised his hand, and Roy fell silent. "Of course, Roy," Eliwood agreed gently. "I would never refuse that kind of request from you. Ninian would be proud of the man that you've become. I'll handle the rest of the reconstruction for the rest of the day."

"Th-thank you, father," Roy replied gratefully. "Are you sure you can handle the reconstruction efforts?"

Eliwood laughed softly. "I may have been weakened by illness over the past few years, but I've still got some wisdom and strength left in me. Take the time to visit your mother, Roy. I'll be fine."

/

Later that evening, Roy slipped quietly into the inner garden of Castle Pherae. He made his way across the courtyard until he saw the mighty stone sarcophagus that housed his mother's remains, carved by Eliwood's orders into the shape of the young girl.

Roy bent down onto his knees. "Mother…" he whispered softly, his arms stretched out almost in prayer. "I'm sorry I never got to know you fully…that death took you before I ever got the chance. I know that I'll have to wait until my own time comes before I will be able to greet you face to face. But…" he faltered, then continued, "I hope that I have brought honor to you and my father. That if I were to see you right now your eyes would be shining with love and happiness. That I've made you proud to be your son…"

"She could not ask for a better heir," a voice whispered behind Roy.

The future lord of Pherae whipped around to see a figure wrapped in dark robes, partially covered by shadows. He looked like a druid, and yet he seemed greater in a sense. Roy couldn't quite describe it.

"Who…who are you?" He asked suspiciously. Was this an assassin from Bern seeking revenge? But that made no sense. He could have just killed Roy without speaking if that had been his intent.

"I…am an acquaintance of your mother and her family…" the figure responded. "I came to pay my respects silently...although clearly my plans have changed slightly now that you're here," he chuckled quietly.

"Why didn't you ask father?" Roy asked. "I'm sure he would have been glad to show you here."

"That…would not be such a good idea," the druid responded a bit dryly. "Your father and I…we didn't exactly get along in the past."

"Mhm…" Roy murmured, before looked up again. "Wait…you said that you were an acquaintance of my mother's family. Do you know about them? And what's your name?"

The druid nodded. "You may call me Baldur. And I know more about your family than either of your parents would know. Did you know that Lady Ninian was a half-dragon, Roy?"

Roy nodded. His father had told him this shortly before his adventure had begun. "Some say that it was my mother's dragon blood within me that allowed me to wield the Sword of Seals."

Baldur chuckled. "Well, I don't know if that's true or not. But now let me ask you a different question. Do you know who your mother's parents were?"

Roy shook his head. "No, that I do not know. Are you saying that you know who they are? But that would mean that you're centuries old!"

Baldur laughed. "That is true, I suppose. I won't give full details…let's just say I came from Arcadia but left long ago to make my own path. I can tell that you're eager to learn more about your mother's heritage. I'll start with your grandmother."

He sighed before continuing, "Your grandmother was a full ice dragon named Aenir. She was just like your mother: beautiful, compassionate, loving, kindhearted. The Scouring had set dragons and humans apart as mortal enemies, and yet Aenir had fallen in love with a human sorcerer who did not deserve her love. They lived a happy life together and had two children, your mother and your uncle Nils. But then some humans took your grandmother away and presumably killed her. Your grandfather never saw her again after that."

"And what about my grandfather?" Roy asked curiously.

Baldur seemed to grow sadder at the question. "After your grandmother was lost to him forever, he sent your mother and uncle through the Dragon's Gate until he could find a way to reunite your family safely."

His tone and what little Roy could see of his face darkened. "But he did not know that since the Dragon's Gate was meant for dragons, it could only be opened by dragons. His mind then turned to folly and desperation; he turned to the dark arts because he believed that only through this most powerful and wild form of magic would he be able to open the Gate. It was during his travels that he met the Archsage Athos, and together they made their way to Arcadia, the one safe haven on Elibe where dragons and humans could live in peace."

"Why do you say my grandfather's mind turned to folly and desperation?" Roy asked, simultaneously dreading the answer and yet unable to hide his desire to know.

"It was in Arcadia that he discovered the secrets of quintessence, the magical force that powers all life on Earth," Baldur responded. "He found ways to convert quintessence to power, strengthened even further by his mastery of the dark arts. But it was here that he began his descent into damnation."

"Your grandfather began to take the lives of others for his experiments. It started at first with animals, but his rampage moved on to the lives of wicked and eventually innocent men. The Arcadians and Athos begged for him to stop, but in the end he was ousted from the town forever. It would not be until the time of your father's youth that he would resurface as one of the greatest terrors of this Age."

Roy reeled back in shock as he finally realized whom Baldur was describing.

"It…it can't be!" he gasped, horrified. "My…my grandfather…was NERGAL?"

The druid nodded sadly.

"I…I don't believe you!" Roy shouted. "How could that…that wretched fiend be related to me?"

"Quiet your voice, Roy, or you'll attract your soldiers and I will not be able to tell you anymore," warned Baldur.

Roy still looked suspicious. "How do I know I can trust you?"

"Child, I would have nothing to gain from lying to you," replied Baldur evenly, "and what does your own heart say?"

Roy couldn't answer. Something within him told him that the druid was telling the truth, that Nergal was indeed his grandfather. "So my grandfather was a murderer," Roy spat bitterly.

Baldur raised his hand to silence Roy. "It would be easy to judge Nergal for his wicked actions," he replied. "What decent human being wouldn't be horrified at a man who would have slaughtered the world for power and brought about the death of his own daughter? No doubt in death he has been cast down to the depths and is suffering an eternity of torment for his crimes in life. But you cannot truly judge a man unless you take both the good and the bad into account, Roy."

"Are you talking about what Nergal was like before he fell to the darkness?" Roy asked.

Baldur nodded. "The story of Nergal is a tragedy that few will ever learn, Roy. All he wanted from the start was to find the family that he loved so dearly. But his love drove him to great folly in the darkness. He may have gained the power to open the gate, but in the process he lost everything that truly mattered to him."

Roy was silent as he processed everything that Baldur had told him. Before he had met Baldur, he had believed that Nergal was simply a wicked, power-hungry maniac who would have brought about a second Scouring. But now that he knew Nergal's story, he could only feel pity for his lost grandfather. "It must be terrible, losing yourself for the sake of power," Roy whispered softly.

Baldur nodded. "They say that only druids and wielders of the dark magics can lose themselves to the lure of power, but in truth all men are vulnerable to this terrible corruption. Power is a great thing in righteous hands, but it can taint the very soul itself. Learn what you grandfather could not, Roy. Your morality, your ability to love, what makes you human; they are far more important than all the power in the world. Never surrender them, no matter how tempting."

Roy nodded and bowed his head. "Thank you, Baldur. I came here only to pray with my mother, but you have blessed me with the gift of the past. I will not make the same mistakes Nergal made. I swear it on my soul."

Baldur gently put his hand on Roy's shoulder. "If you can keep that oath, then you will become an even greater leader and greater man than you already are."

Before Roy turned to leave, he looked up to try to see Baldur's face. All he could see were faint wisps of green hair and an eye that looked as though it had been scarred by some terrible wound. A chilling familiarity creeped over Roy as he tried to identify more of the man, but before he could Baldur slipped into the shadows again and he could see no more.

/

As Roy departed from Ninian's tomb, Baldur watched him until the garden was deserted. He turned back towards Ninian's sarcophagus and at last the tears fell from his face.

"My daughter…" he whispered as he quietly sobbed, "I will never be able to tell you how much regret I feel for all that I have done to you. I swore that I would look after and protect you and Nils all those centuries ago, and I have failed in my oath. All the sorrow and woe that you experienced during your life you experienced because of my foolishness, and I will carry that shame for all eternity even if Elimine does not damn me to the darkness forever."

He wiped his tears dry and smiled briefly. "But for all the pain that I have caused you, I hope that my actions have brought you some degree of joy for you through Eliwood. He is a good man and I pray that your life with him was filled with your happiest moments. And your son will someday become as great as your husband if not greater, even more so now that he has learned about my mistakes and will seek to avoid them at all cost. Rest in peace, my daughter. I will see you again...and then I will give you the full apology that you deserve. I hope that you will be able to forgive me until then."

And with those final words, the druid vanished from the tomb. As he departed, a single droplet of dew splashed down onto the sarcophagus right in the statue's eye. To a passerby, it would seem almost as though the dancer was crying, but whether out of sorrow or joy they would never know.

/

A/N: I'd like to think that, at the moment of his "death," Nergal remembered everything and felt remorse for his actions. Many signs in the game indicate that he was once a good man before his fall to darkness, and I hope that I captured that without making him seem Mary Sue-ish.

Baldur was the Norse god peace, goodness, and light. I think this would make sense for a redeemed/pre-dark Nergal, particularly since Baldur in mythology was killed similarly to how Nergal lost his good side.

Read and review please!


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